Thursday, February 28, 2013

Finding myself.

So, a little housekeeping is in order. I revamped my blog a bit, hope you all like the new "look". I spent a good portion of the morning working on it after my workout.

This morning I got up, dropped my son, Nathan, off at pre-school and went straight to the gym. Plugged my earphones in and got my booty moving to some Ke$ha. Don't hate, I actually really like her music, call it a guilty pleasure, whatever. My feet were still somewhat sore from Ballet on Tuesday, the balls of my feet specifically. We did a lot of releve work and I wasn't getting high enough on my toes. Anyways, so I just did an easy 2.7mph 31min walk. It felt good though. Sure I wasn't going fast, but stamina wise I was kicking ass. I ended my workout feeling good and energized instead of watching the clock, praying for it to be over with. 

I was looking at my Facebook and I came across this image and just had to share:

I've had this fear that people would think that because I'm loosing a very significant amount of weight (106lbs as of today) that I would change. The truth is, in my eyes at least, I'm now becoming the person I was supposed to be this whole time. The core of our being doesn't change when we shed weight. I might take more pride in my appearance, like to put make-up on or a nicer outfit. I might walk a little taller. I might take more risks and put myself out there, but I didn't change. I was buried under so much more than just pounds. I was buried in insecurities, paranoia, fear, shame and self doubt. When you have all those pushing down on you, you can't truly be yourself. I feel as I go through this journey I am finally on the road to finding myself. Finding out who I really am, what I really like, how I fit in and I'm enjoying it all. I am confident to take steps and try new things, even if I might fail. 

Your heart doesn't change because you loose weight either. My love for my Husband, Son, Family & Friends is even more so now. They all have helped me on my journey in their own ways. I am truly thankful for all the support and love I have received from each and every one of them. They say that Weight Loss Surgery can make a good relationship better and a bad relationship worse. I'm very proud to be in that first group with ALL of the important people in my life. I have gained so much respect & love for them as they have for me. 

Knowing that this is a life journey and not just a fad or another "diet" means that I will continue to evolve emotionally and grow into my new body. I am looking forward to what is to come, because I know it will only be good. Challenges don't stop me in my tracks anymore and I'm ready to keep working towards the ultimate goal; finding myself. 

1 comment:

  1. that's my girl I couldn't be prouder of you ! you are and allways will be an amazeing person and your mothers love will never die for you!!!!