Don't be a Halloweenie.

I am very happy to say that I have hit 2 major goals in the past few days! First is my NSV (Non Scale Victory), I had a goal to not have my thigh touch the steering wheel when I drove. I am happy to say that after 2 weeks of not driving and getting behind the wheel on Monday afternoon, my thigh was a good 1"-2" under the wheel!!! WAHOO!!! The second goal is a numbers one. I have lost 15lbs since surgery 2 weeks ago, 25lbs total since my pre-op diet 4 weeks ago.

I started mushy foods and it's a welcome relief from all the liquids, but I'm already bored. HA! Truth is, nothing really tastes that good. Everything seems kind off. It is quite common for VSG patients to have issues with their tastebuds, so it doesn't shock me. 

The hardest thing right now in recovery seems to be just how sleepy I am. I still feel the need to take a nap during the day which is really hard when you are taking care of a 4 year old. Like right now, I started this blog entry to keep me awake! Otherwise I'd be dozing off in this chair right now. :P

Yesterday was the first day that I was able to get in all 64oz of my fluids. I was so happy to finally hit that mark. It makes me realize that things are moving forward, even if, VERY slowly. Patience has never been my forte. 

I wish you all a very Happy Halloween! This is my favorite holiday and I was unable to fully celebrate it this year like I like to. It makes me sad, but I know it's all going to be worth it next Halloween when my life is drastically improved. I love Shelly's WOW for today:

My mantra when tempted by poor choices & not-so-fun size candy bars: "Don't trade what you want most, for what you want at the moment."

Slowly but surely.

It's really hard to put into words everything I've been going through this past week. There have been so many times where I sit down to write out a post but get lost in my own feelings.

I knew this wouldn't be a walk in the park. However, I didn't expect the healing to take so long. I still feel like a "patient" not myself. I'm still in pain at night from the incisions, although they are starting to really itch, which I think means they are healing. I need help putting on my socks, plugging my phone in, or whenever I drop something because I can't bend over. I am constantly being asked if I'm drinking enough (out of goodwill and concern, I know, but it gets a little irritating, I won't lie?),

I did put regular clothes on for the first time last night when we went to Theis Family Farm for their Pumpkin Land. It's a tradition we've done every year with Nathan since he was born. It wasn't as enjoyable this year, first because it was FREEZING and second because I couldn't do the hay ride or run around with Nathan. However, seeing the smile on his face made the whole thing worth it. We were only there for about 1 hour but it was nice to feel human again.

Today we went "Trunk or Treating" at church and Nathan had a blast. Me however, well, about 20 mins into it I was sweating, in pain, had a headache and was nauseated. It doesn't really hit you that you are RECOVERING until you push yourself too far. I got home, had a good cry, drank some protein and now I feel a bit better. Nathan was the cutest little Angry Bird though. I'm just grateful I was able to be there with him, even if we had to cut it short. 

I got to try some pureed foods today. I decided to go with a blended soup since it had a bunch of protein, Campbells Bean & Bacon to be specific. I whizzed it up in my blender stuck it in the microwave and OMG it's like the best thing I've had to eat in 4 weeks! LOL. It made 10oz of soup with 10gms of protein and it took me over an hour and a half to eat it. It's amazing how small my stomach really is now. This is the first time I've really had to pace myself eating something because it was GOOD! I'm going to have abt 1/2 cup of cottage cheese tonight to get my protein up to where it should be. I'm actually looking forward to it! 

I was warned that around the 2 week mark I would get emotional. Fat cells are where our hormones are stored so when we burn nothing but fat, all those hormones bombard us with emotional issues. Today was one of those days. I had a good cry and thankfully my hubby was there with a comfy shoulder to cry on. He helped talk me through it all and I feel better now. I am learning to accept that this is a process. I am an instant gratification kind of person and I need to learn to take my time, accept what I can and can't do and let myself heal and move forward each day. 

So far I haven't hit either of my water or protein goals, but I am getting closer everyday. I never thought it would be so hard just to drink water! I know in the long term this will be exactly what I need, the restriction of food, but it's kinda discouraging when you feel like you have a drink in your hand ALL day and you still can't reach your goal. 

I am very thankful to my friends and family that have been there for me. I can't thank my brother enough. He and my SIL drove out here from Ohio with very little notice to come help take care of me so my husband could go back to work. I called him Monday afternoon and 8hrs later he was in a car driving here. It was a big boost to my reserves having him here. He helped out in so many ways. Not just by driving Nathan back and forth to school, or doing my dishes, or making sure I was drinking, he was a source of familiarity and it made it easier to relax and know that he was here. I'm very lucky that he was able to just pick up and come out when I really needed him. I broke out in tears when he walked through the door. Sometimes what you need most is just a hug. He worked with me and helped make sure I was drinking enough because if not I was going to be readmitted into the hospital. When my Dr. called on Thursday afternoon and I gave them my numbers and they were happy I was ECSTATIC that I wold be able to stay home. I know a little bit of that victory is in part thanks fo my brother who would wake me up from my naps, not let me out of the car, or would just annoy me, until I drank some more. It was a great visit even if it wasn't for the best of reasons. It was a little bit weird to be taken care of by my little brother though! :P

Home sweet home.

Somehow I've been able to take in enough fluids that when my Dr, called to check on me this afternoon he said I didn't need to be admitted tonight. Thank GOODNESS!!!

I've been averaging around 50oz fluids & 50gms protein which is a HUGE increase from what I was doing on Monday, only 30oz fluids & 15gms protein. 

Good news is that I'm 22lbs down total including my pre-op diet. 12lbs down since surgery. 

I hope things continue to improve, I was given the go ahead to start Phase 2 foods on Monday if I am consistently getting in my fluids. 

Fluids, Fluids, Fluids.

SO, I had my 1 week check up on Monday afternoon, which was kinda silly in my eyes because I was just discharged from the hospital on Friday. Anywho....

I went in and they took 1 look at me and said I had a choice, IV fluids downstairs and I have to call back Thursday afternoon with hopefully a better day or be admitted again right then and there. So, I opted for the IV fluids and to go home since my husband absolutely has to go back to work tomorrow and I have no one who can help/watch my kid. 

He did say if I'm not able to up my fluids I will be readmitted on Thursday so I can be monitored. He attributes all these issues with my sleeve being swollen and restricting volume. Today I only managed about 15gms of protein and 32oz of fluids. Not gonna cut it. 

UGHHHHH!!!

I had my little crying fit tonight, "why the hell did I do this to myself?!? What a stupid decision." etc. 

I feel so defeated right now. I'm trying so hard to buck up and keep trying but it's so hard when your body won't do what you ask of it. 

Home & Sleeved!

So, I went into the hsoptial on Tuesday the 16th to get sleeved at 2pm. The dr. was running behind so I didn't actually get back to the OR until about 4:30pm. From what I am told the surgery was "textbook". Very easy. The recovery however, NOT very easy. 

I had a very hard time coming out of anethesia, which was new for me, I've had past surgeries and not had any issues. From what I was told and what I remember from being in and out of conciousness, I woke up vomiting and dry heaving. They gave me 5 different nausea medications to get me to stop. Because of the vomitting I was in immense pain so they had to drug me up really well. I remember crying so hard, wailing that "it hurt" over and over. I spent almost 3hrs in the PACU before I was able to be controlled with medicine. I was moved into my room where I was just supposed to spend 1 night at about 9pm. I don't remember much of that night, must have really been knocked out on pain meds. 

The next morning I had my leak test done and it came back perfect. Then my Dr. came to see me and was concerned because everytime I took a sip of fluid, be it water, popsicle, ice chips, tea or anything. about 10 seconds after the sip I would get a horrible sharp pain in my stomach. Because of this pain, I was unable to get the required fluids down (4-6oz per hour) and I was told I would be spending another night in the hospital. He thought that most of the pain and issues I was having was from swelling that was talking a longer than normal time to heal. 

That night & the next morning I was still in pain everytime I would drink. I would try to force myself but the pain was very intense. By this point I had my first "freak out" moment of what the hell did I do to myself. This has been a disaster. But, I bucked up, kept walking the halls, sipping and sleeping. 

The next morning my Dr. came to see me again. He checked all my incisions, I only ended up with 4 ports, and they were healing very nicely. He decided since I was still in a lot of pain when I was drinking that we should try Carafate to help coat my stomach until the swelling went down. He also told me, and this was at 9:30am that I would NOT being going home today either. It was another night in the hospital for me. However, the Carafate was a god-send because that day I was finally able to start drinking my liquids! I was so proud to get just 3oz down in a hour! Then I made it to 4oz and hit the wall. I couldn't make it past 4oz. Walk, sip, sleep repeat all day & night. 

Finally on Friday at about 11:15am I was released from the hospital!! Yay!! I was thrilled to get out of there. I was NOT planning on spending 4 days & 3 nights in the hospital. Because I was healing slowly I was worried that no matter what I did I wouldn't be able to get my fluids in, and even today I am still having issues doing so. 

Today is my 6th day of recovery and I'm sometimes able to get my 6oz of water/gatorade/propel down in an hour but those are rare victories I still struggle to do so. I attempted to drink some protein yesterday and I ended up in so much pain that I threw my clothes on and went for as long a walk as possible to hopefully move it around. It was terrible. It was only 4oz, sipped over an hour. I was completely miserable for a good 3-4hrs. I took some pain meds and layed down and took a nap. For the rest of the day yesterday I did nothing but water/gatorade/propel and managed to get down 12oz in 2hrs last night before bed. The most ever so far! 

So, because I know I need to get some protein in I am trying again today with the protein. I've watered it down so hopefully it moves through easier. Although, I just drank my 4th oz and I'm feeling quite full already. I've been drinking 1oz every 10 mins. 

The best piece of advice I've ever gotten about this surgery is "Never trust a fart". Let me tell you it is SPOT ON. I'm still passing a ton of gas from the surgery, from both ends but when it's the lower end I make sure to get to the bathroom because you just never know. LOL. Better safe than sorry. 

My husband has been amazing. He has been talking care of our 4 year old on his own since Tuesday and keeping the house together and being my nurse. I am so thankful for all that he has done during this time. There is nothing like knowing you have all the support in the world sitting right next to you when you are questioning what you just did to yourself. 

I feel stronger mentally and physically now. I have my post-op Dr.s appointment tomorrow at 1:30pm. I am supposed to be moved onto soft/purreed foods tomorrow, but I have a feeling that since I am still struggling with fluids he might wait. We will have to see. 

I weighed in at 341.6lbs when I checked in at the hospital on Tuesday afternoon. The day I came home from the hospital I weighed 345.8lbs from all the fluids & stuff from surgery. This morning I weigh 336.6lbs. 

Overall this journey has been a lot harder than I anticipated. I've read all the stories, talked to lots of people and we all just go through this surgery differently. Seems like I caught  the harder end of recovery. The good news is that all my vitals, my new stomach and I are doing VERY well. I just need to keep pushing fluids. I will be anxious to see what the Dr has to say tomorrow. 

Thanks to everyone for all the support!

Tomorrow is the day.

It's almost time. I got the call from the OR this morning. I will officially be sleeved at 2pm tomorrow afternoon. It's been a long journey. It's been 20+ years of being overweight, 1+ year of serious life change & 4 months since I decided on weight loss surgery. I am excited to start this part of my journey and to fully live for the first time.

DietDirect.com

This place is pretty sweet. They have a good selection of diet/bariatric products and their shipping is FAST!! Want $10 worth of product for free?!?! Just sign up and in the referral box put my email address: htmtvegas@hotmail.com and you will get $10 FREE to use on their website with NO minimum order! It's a pretty sweet deal. Check it out!

I just ordered some BariWise Fruit Drink, I definitely recommend this stuff!